Daily Devotional

Dallas, Spring Break, 2022. My long-distance girlfriend, Lauren, was flying out to meet my family for the first time. At first, everything was going great: my family loved Lauren, and everybody was getting along splendidly. Lauren and I were enjoying the rare chance to spend time together in person. But there was one big conversation we still needed to have that week: timeline.

Lauren and I had established that we were dating with the intent of seeing whether this would end in marriage. We were, however, what you might call “star-crossed lovers.” Not only were we dating long-distance, but Lauren would graduate from her California college in May, and I would graduate a year later from my Michigan college. With major life decisions on the horizon, we needed some idea of when we would get married, assuming things continued in that direction. I had given this a lot of thought over the past couple of months, and as we took a walk around my neighborhood, I laid out what I thought was the most logical plan. The obstacles to getting married between Lauren’s graduation and my finishing college were too great, so we were probably looking at October 2023 – a year and a half out. (Lauren had always wanted a fall wedding.) My sweet girlfriend listened patiently, smiling and nodding, and then… said nothing for ten minutes.

Panic began to creep into my thoughts. “I’ve talked about this like it’s too certain. I’ve scared her off, and now we’re going to break up, and it’s going to be super awkward…” Lauren’s gentle voice broke my reverie: “That sounds like a really long time. I want to get married sooner.”

Married sooner? Now my head EXPLODED with panic. How? It would mean both of us would have to find jobs in middle-of-nowhere Michigan (while I finished school!), then somehow find housing to boot. (Lauren certainly couldn’t move in to my all-male dorm.) My extracurricular commitments would be upended. And Lauren would have to relocate across the country to a place where she knew nobody. Lauren sat patiently while my brain spun and my mouth ran trying to figure out all these logistics. Thinking “logically,” this plan was risky, uncertain, absolutely insane. But might it work…?

In a move that I can only attribute to the indwelling Holy Spirit, I suggested we stop and take ten minutes to pray by ourselves and seek the Lord’s direction. As I prayed on that park bench, the second half of Proverbs 3:5 ran through my head on loop: “do not lean on your own understanding.” It was as if God was telling me, “Based on common sense, on your limited knowledge, yes, this idea seems crazy. But will you trust Me and My plan for your life, even in the face of the unknown?”

Lauren reached the same conclusion in her prayers, and we decided to get married that fall. The Lord blessed our step of faith, and everything else fell into place. Both sets of parents were fully on board with our plan. The Lord provided an opportunity for me to work for my church in Michigan in exchange for a very nice apartment. Lauren got the first job she applied for in Michigan and loved it there. My school schedule, our finances, finding friends for Lauren—the Lord worked out every possible concern I had that fateful Spring Break day. In October of 2022, we celebrated a beautiful wedding and spent eight blissfully happy months in Michigan before moving back here to Fresno.

Had I trusted my own judgment instead of the Lord’s leading, my life at this moment would be totally different. Case in point? Our first child, Lottie, was born in September 2023, a month before the date I originally had in mind for our wedding. Had I “leaned on my own understanding,” she wouldn’t exist. Looking back, God’s plan for that first year of marriage, and for my entire life since then, was vastly richer, more fulfilling, more abundant than anything I could have imagined. So if you face a situation like mine, where what God is calling you to do seems counterintuitive, don’t lean on your own understanding. God’s way is always the best way.

"English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers."