Daily Devotional

Day 11. My misery meter (0–10) has been mostly in the 7–10 range. My hernia surgery seemed to go well. My recovery, however, has been an ordeal both physically and emotionally.  I have had some high moments in the Spirit, but mostly low moments in the pit, or skirting its edges. Who’s equal to these things? Not me. Some might think so.

Honestly, no one is equal to them. So today I poured out my complaint, like the psalmist did in Psalm 102.

Hear my prayer, LORD!
And let my cry for help come to You.
Do not hide Your face from me on the day of my distress;
Incline Your ear to me;
On the day when I call answer me quickly.
For my days have ended in smoke,
And my bones have been scorched like a hearth.
Psalm 102:1–3, NASB

I’ve cried out, at times like never before – Help! But the situation seems endless. To God I cry, my help and my hope! But all around me remains unchanged. I wish for a quick answer, but it feels more like inactive silence.

My days seem mostly consumed with struggle, and my nights worse. My heart, my inner being feels pushed into an isolated corner. I feel an unhealthy decline. I lie awake and lonely, though Lynn has provided consistent, loving care and concern. And my daughter Anne has been an angel of mercy ministry and encouragement. So have many in the church.

Still, we finally bear these things alone, as one on a lonely housetop. I “hear” the catcalls and mocking of the enemy of my soul – where is your God now? Throw it all aside and give up!

I wither like grass. Sometimes I just want to weep.

But then the moment comes. My eyes shift from the mirror to the mountains (Psalm 121). It’s the Lord! But You, but You, O Lord, abide forever! This is another whole world, the depth of a glorious expanse.

But You, LORD, remain forever,
And Your name remains to all generations.
You will arise and have compassion on Zion;
For it is time to be gracious to her,
For the appointed time has come.
Psalm 102:12–13, NASB

The mortal looks at the Eternal, and has hope. But You, O Lord! Not just an era, but a Being who abides forever! Slowly God’s purposes begin to clear through the fog and bleakness. He cares! He loves me! He will have compassion on me! He will be gracious!

Deeper than the pain in my groin and the darkness of my heart are the profound and holy purposes of God. He will have pity! He does take pleasure in me! Others will take note of this turn around, of Christ’s unstoppable intervention in the affairs of my mind and heart, my body and spirit. The Lord will build me up, that His name may be glorified! He has regarded my prayer, after all.

“The children of Your descendants will continue, and their descendants will be established before You.” Psalm 102:28, NASB

Read: Psalm 102
Sing: Love Lifted Me! By James Rowe (Howard E. Smith)

New American Standard Bible (NASB)
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