Daily Devotional

The Fruit of Self-Control

What makes you angry? For me it’s being disrespected and seeing weak people bullied. I never got in a fight in school (I was big), but I came closest when I was sticking up for a little guy getting picked on by a big guy saying, “Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?” And he backed down. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt that level of anger at any other time in my life.

Ephesians 4:26
"BE ANGRY, AND YET DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger."

When we are renewed by God’s Holy Spirit and we put on the ‘new creation’ that Jesus Christ won for us at the cross, we have something called self-control. It’s a Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22–23). As you grow in your spiritual life, you start to exhibit the Fruit of self-control, which in turn helps you control your anger.

Where I am working on controlling my anger is behind the wheel of my car. I’m running late. I’m sitting in the left turn lane and the person in front of me is texting on their phone. The light turns green and they don’t go. In the final seconds they realize the arrow is on, and as the light is turning yellow, they gun it. So I don’t make it through. At that moment I hope the Fruit of self-control kicks in, rather than anger.

Is anger wrong? No. Like any emotion, you can’t control when anger is going to hit. But you can control your reaction when it does hit. When the person didn’t go on the green arrow, I can show my anger, honking my horn, shaking my fist, and yelling out the window. Or I can exhibit self-control, and just wait. When I told my mentor about my struggles with anger behind the wheel, he said something I never thought about before. He said, “Brian, you don’t know what that person is dealing with, what pain is in their life; a bad diagnosis for themselves or a loved one, a rebellious teenager, the legalities of divorce.” And I was immediately convicted. I’m thinking, “I’m angry because this person is making me late for a meeting.”  But this might be someone who’s not a Christian, someone who might be going through some major struggles. Thinking about it from that perspective really helped me.

When is anger sin? Paul says “Be angry, and yet do not sin.” Sometimes people use anger as an excuse to sin. “Dad, you yelled at me!” “Yeah, but you made me angry!”  It’s not an excuse. Self-control has to be a regular part of every moment of every day in the life of a Christian. Self-control helps you channel anger in a God-honoring way.

Anger needs to be resolved. “Do not let the sun go down on your anger.” Is this a command from God to not let the sun go down before you reconcile your anger with another person? No. The point is, don’t let a lot of time pass before dealing with your anger. If you do, bitterness will grow, and it will steal your joy (another Fruit). If you do, the desire for vengeance will grow, leading to sinful thoughts and actions. Anger is not meant to be ‘lived in’, it’s meant to be ‘dealt with’. So don’t let the sun go down on your anger.

What do I do when I’m starting to feel anger stirred-up within me? Some people say “Just count to 10.” Well, I’ve tried that, and it doesn’t work. Usually I’m angrier after counting to 10 than I was before. Instead you should pray. Bring it to God. Cast your cares (anger) on Him because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). Ask Him for help. Ask Him to calm your heart. Ask Him to help you respond in a self-controlled and constructive way. Then read some Scripture…maybe the psalms. Listen to some good music. Call a trusted friend. God has given us everything we need to live a life of godliness…so use what He provides. And be that person that exhibits self-control even in the angriest of situations. People will notice it and you can point them to Christ.
New American Standard Bible (NASB)
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