Daily Devotional

My sister Marsha and I were raised in a home with a mentally ill mother. Our mother was diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic. She refused medication. Consequently, my sister and I grew up in a volatile and caustic home atmosphere. One minute our mother would be normal and then the next minute she would change to an emotionally and physically abusive person. It was a secret. We were warned to not speak of it to anyone about our troubles at home. This was the tragic way mental illness was dealt with in the 60’s.

This may sound strange to you… there were many blessings showered on my sister, Marsha and I as a result of this tragic home life. God comforted us and empowered us to comfort others. God gave us everything we needed. Allow me to share a few examples of how God led my sister and I through our life with a mentally ill mother.

1. God used my despair about my home life to drive me to visit a church for the first time as a 17-year-old. There I learned about Jesus and accepted him as my Lord and Savior. Marsha did the same a short time later.
   
   
2. I have come to believe some of the most important learning lessons come from a negative source. My sister and I learned how to be good mothers from our mentally ill mother.  All we had to do was do was the opposite. Our mom was unkind. We chose to be kind. Our mom was verbally and physically abusive. We chose to be the opposite. Our mom was unloving. We chose to be loving to our kids. I can say to some extent, I am today who I am because of my mom’s bad example. My sister and I learned to do the opposite from our mother.
   
   
3. God taught us compassion for people through the suffering of living with our mentally ill mom.
   
   
4. My sister, Marsha and I became very close. So much so, many times people said we acted like twins. I believe God used our common suffering to draw us close. We understood what it was like to live in an unstable home. As my sister and I recovered over the years, we could validate each other’s pain and memories. We helped each other heal. I am thankful God did not take my sister to heaven until after our healing was complete. I look forward to seeing her in heaven.
   
   
5. Our mother’s illness gave us a passion to be mothers to those who needed us.  Consequently, both my sister, Marsha and I adopted our children and did foster care. In addition, I remember one day in the Church parking lot a young woman was weeping. I went to her and listened to her tearful story. I told her that I also lacked the mothering influence of a mother.  To this day, I have become a mother in her life. Another time, I was counseling a woman. I was frustrated that she said she had no friends. Wasn’t I her friend, I thought? I asked her, “Who am I to you?” She stopped a moment, turned to me and said, “You are my mother.” I can name quite a few women who consider me their mother. That nurturing, loving mothering can be given to anyone in need.  My sister had the same open heart to others.
   
   
6. Our mother taught us to love unconditionally. Our mother could not give us anything. No love, affection, stability, safety, affirmation, yet we knew God called us to love and honor our mother. The fact she was mentally ill, helped our effort to love her somewhat. We knew she could not help it, especially because she refused to be medicated or treated. But the truth is, Marsha and I suffered greatly by our mothers non-medicated behavior. Only through God’s power could we preserve love and compassion for our mother. The day our mother died, she was healed. We were comforted with the knowledge that our mom claimed to have accepted Christ. Marsha and I had peace in our hearts that day because of God’s work in our lives.  My sister, Marsha and I talked many times about how wonderful it will be to see our mother in heaven, healed and finally at peace.  

PARENTS & GRANDPARENTS:

1. Post the verse (2 Corinthians 1:3–5) in your home somewhere.
   
   
2. Always be ready to give your “mothering skills” to a person in need. Just because they are not your birth children, does not mean you cannot lavish your motherly love on them.
   
   
3. Teach your children about the concept of unconditional love. Use them as an example. No matter what they do, you will always love them. Refer to Jesus death on the cross to die for our sins while we were sinners.
   
   
4. Teach your children to learn from others bad behavior. Teach them to do the opposite.

New King James Version (NKJV)
Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.